Tuesday, February 21, 2006

As crazy as a run over dog!

I've perhaps figured out Ann Coulter! As a wee lad we had a male collie mix around the farm for several years. Good dog in several ways and I'm rather ashamed that I can't recall his name. He had a much, much better nature than Ms. Coulter. A bit skinny and gangly like her but a very pleasant critter. He had not a mean bone in his lanky frame. Unfortunately, as collies are bad to do, he liked to chase vehicles, especially our farm trucks that we used for feeding the herd. Out on the busy county road running through the Ponderosa, he was nearly hit it seemed like every few days. And several times he was truly creamed. He would dash along and across the road and under the fences with the greatest of simple joy. Naturally he wasn't all there in the head after being ran over, and over, and over ... and yet he still loved to chase cars.

The most remarkable thing about the old dog, and he was a legend around our place, is that we had a rather set routine to our feeding where we'd usually head first to feed the pastures at "the back place". The old dog learned, despite his damaged faculties, that he could cut across one field, cross a dam to a pond, run through some planted pines behind my oldest sister's house, and get to that first back place pasture about the time we did by taking the paved and then dirt road. It was maybe a fourth of a mile as the crow flies and a third as the dog dashes but a mile over the roads. Of course at times we broke the pattern, admittedly enjoying the idea that the hound had been fooled. Yet regardless of our getting there at the same time as the old dog (or an hour or longer later) this mutt was so loopy that it thought it had done some amazing stunt. He was so very pleased with himself that he had beat us to the back place that it mattered not if he'd been there all day. Since my Old Daddy checked the cows several times a day we never found out if the dog would have just stayed should we have not finally arrived on the scene. He was a simple creature indeed and was missed when he finally met his maker. I think the meeting came via a Ford Crown Vic that lived up the road. This dog was certainly due!

I've truly often used the expression "crazy as a ran over dog" when I speak or write of Ann Coulter. Yet last night when I saw her on Faux News with Vannity Hannity and Cowardly Colmes I saw that old dog's same eyes and expression. Reincarnated as Ann Coulter? The damn dog deserved better! Nodding her head, flipping that hair, rolling those googly eyes, she's bent more than a bit. But she's that same crazy run over dog. Ann is always seemingly so happy that she is able to say something outrageous. She loves to chase cars and could seemingly care less about where she runs to ... or under. She's like the old dog in that she just can't help it. Run through the brambles and just wait Ann. Think you are outsmarting everybody. Be so very proud of yourself. Pat yourself on the head and better yet get your adoring masses to keep buying and booking to show you your merit. I'd rather them spend those Bu$hCo tax breaks on your narrow ass and mind than on somebody with more in the game than just being able to chase a damn car. We'll enjoy or at worst tolerate the shows you'll put on and perhaps even look back on your loopiness with some measure of nostalgia. "Grandpa, tell us about that woman that was crazy as a run over dog."

Until then, I'll just send you to News Hounds for the rough summary/transcript of the Faux session and respond to some of the distractions and dirty dealings of Hannity and Coulter. I have not offered up Alec Baldwin or Richard Dreyfuss as spokespersons for the left and yet I can hear and follow some of their logic. Seldom do these Faux News regulars do that much for me. Ann and Sean can roll out "undermine the troops" and "pre 9-11 mindset" and the talking points with Rovian discipline as a big part of the Mighty Wurlitzer yet they can seldom if ever have a reasoned discussion. Ann Coulter tried to drag in Robert Wright's NYT Editorial "The Silent Treatment" and then misquote, with I think a little help from Hannity, the ideas he offered. Robert Wright works out of the New America Foundation and if nothing else I've discovered a nice resource. Thanks Ann! Part of this outfits mission statement, with my emphasis added, reads:
Powerful forces - from rapid technological change to massive demographic shifts, from economic globalization to terrorism - are remaking America. Now, more than ever, our nation needs a robust public debate, one that does justice to the complex challenges and opportunities of this unfolding era. Yet there remains a dearth of new thinking on both sides of the political divide, as well as a lack of investment in developing the creative young minds most capable of crafting new public policy solutions.

No, I guess you don't get it Ann. Complex, creative, robust debate, ... You'd just rather chase cars! Go deal with your potential felony for voting in the wrong polling station. Go offend even moderate Muslims with your frequent racist remarks using "jihad monkey, camel jockey,and/or tent merchant". Or use "raghead" as eventually you'll alienate enough folks, even some of the wingnut fringe, so perhaps we can put and leave you out to pasture. And take that Surly Sean with you when he gets back trying to save the Sinking Senator Santorum ... who just got nailed by American Prospect for his $643,361 McMansion outside of DC. It Takes a Family and Good Neighbors indeed.

The back place for you all! Peace ... or War.

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